Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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