It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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