The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
