Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Betty ford says i'm here all night
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
