She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
