This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
