I swear she didn't look like that last week.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
