My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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