There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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