ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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