You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
