fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
