so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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