I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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