Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
