I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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