I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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