That's intense
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
