4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I didn't shave. On purpose
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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