If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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