Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
