What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
