yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
