U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I want to have your abortion
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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