how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
