remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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