the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize