So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
