I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
