She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
