Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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