So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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