Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
