i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize