I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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