Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
