Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
