so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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