im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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