in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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