smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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