So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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