I'm drive I can fine osifer
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
