I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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