I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
