I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
