dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
