we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
