i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
