The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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