i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
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