I cockslap morals
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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