Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
