I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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