Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I hate all girls vehemently.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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