so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
