if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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