I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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