Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
