do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I lost the right to judge tonight
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
