they need to just BURY HIM!
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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