try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Randomize
