You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
