It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
