College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
