Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
