he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
