halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
