That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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