Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
