Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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